New Years Resolutions, Themes and a little Flourishing
Letter #4
The new year is upon us, and with it comes a renewed desire to grow and better ourselves. Though we should not require an arbitrary date for when to set out for growth and flourishing, it is common practice and one I have long engaged in. For many years, I set goals: "Read 12 books this year", "Go to the gym twice a week," "eat out only once a week," "Meditate twice a day," and so on.
I'd be lying if I said I was consistently successful! New Year's resolutions take a lot of work to execute. How many of us have set resolutions only to find them forgotten by March? It is common to lose track of our New Year's resolutions and feel bad when we fail to achieve them. However, there are ways to solve these issues if you're committed.
On the other hand, if you are like me, you may want to try something different instead.
Themes
About 3 years back, CGP Grey posted a video about selecting a theme over resolutions— something I have done consistently since. A theme is an overarching idea, a guiding principle for what I want to accomplish in the coming year. The premise of a theme is to provide direction for growth while remaining flexible in how you implement it. So perhaps 2024 is your "year of learning," and you start off learning all about making pastries— but by February have decided you'd much rather learn about moose poop art. Well, congratulations, it's still in line with your Theme, so go forth and learn about moose poop art (with my blessing!).
In other words, themes are compelling because they act as a guidepost to helping you choose the activities you want. Themes can point us to behaviors and experiences we want for the year without locking us into a specific action to measure ourselves against. When choosing a theme, the most critical piece is that it has personal resonance for you.
Resonance is somewhat ephemeral, but you'll know it when you have it. The Theme will feel right.
My first Theme was the year of growth. It had resonance. As someone relentlessly interested in growing, it felt fitting for my first Theme. I wanted to stretch myself. I read a metric ton. Took on new roles at work. I picked up meditating again, in a big way!-- and pushed myself past some limiting beliefs. Overall, I recall 2021 as a success, which compelled me to continue with annual themes.
Of course, it won't always go as you expect either: 2022 was my year of risk, and I went into it anticipating making big bets and bold moves. That is not how the year turned out, to be frank— and instead, it turned out to be incremental at most. Was the year as 'successful' as I wanted it to be at the outset? No, but it doesn't matter. It was my year of risk, and I did take them-- they just weren't outsized bets. I ate weird food, stepped out of my comfort zone more, and learned about myself. That's still growth. It's still aligned. It is about degrees of success, not absolutes.
This flexibility makes themes a more effective form of New Year's resolutions.
For 2023, my Theme was design.
Design
Finding a theme can be tricky. Like I said, resonance is vital. If the word does not have it, you will likely not stick to it. I considered creation, learning(felt like a rehash of growth, though), and others, but ultimately settled on design. Whenever I was given a choice and could choose an option more aligned with my Theme, that was the direction I'd nudge myself into.
For 2023, the Theme has been design. The driver was a desire to spend my year trying to be more deliberate about the life I wanted to build. I wanted to design a roadmap to experience more flourishing. And I wanted to try to... make stuff.
I tried to learn how to draw by hand and designed sprawling DnD campaigns. I spent time reading more philosophy and engaging in "deathbed" exercises. Who do I want to strive to be? What, if anything, do I leave behind? What made it worth it? I began a regular morning journal. I learned, read, and thought about productivity and how to get from where I am to where I want to go. All of this I did in pursuit of better designing a flourishing life.
"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. - Seneca
The year of design has taught me the importance of being deliberative. The value of writing and journaling to help make it deliberate. We take for granted that our thoughts are complex and detailed. Still, the reality is that until we write them out(or discuss them), they are often only as cohesive and detailed as shadows on cave walls.
I am grateful for the year. I learned a lot about myself, though the lessons from a year focused on design are not unique to me; they mirror a universal quest for purpose and clarity in our lives.
Which brings me to 2024…
Build
For 2024, the Theme with resonance is Build. To different people, different imagery comes to mind. Still, I suspect it all lands in a similar area around creating things. Building, to me, reflects a universal human drive to create and nurture growth, a drive many of us feel in different forms. I want to build in 2024. As I conclude the year of design, I have been thinking a lot about the next steps, and a year of building only seems appropriate after the year of design. I see the beginning of the year as one of action. What are some of the things I'd like to build? Many things come to mind:
This Substack
my chess elo (1800 or bust)
my family
community
small bets
a house
Strength
more flourishing!
Other stuff
Some of these are relatively broad buckets-- that's okay, intentional even. They align with what I want my 2024 to be about executing, making, and building. There isn't a wrong way to implement a Theme. That is part of what has made it practical. It is a guidepost.
Flourishing
So, Themes are a way to supplement or replace New Year resolutions. They are a way to help us plan for personal growth in less prescriptive and flexible ways. But most importantly, Themes can help bring us more human flourishing.
I have a lot to say on this, and I expect to return to it at greater length— in short, human flourishing is the thing we are all knowingly or unknowingly pursuing. To flourish means to lead a fulfilling, purpose-driven life. It is about living a life worth living, about learning and growing. About contributing to our communities. It is about going out and climbing the mountain. It is about living an engaged life. There are many paths to achieving it, but 2023 has hammered home for me: to flourish, we must be proactive, deliberate participants and designers. Themes are a path and a tool for us to bring more of it into our lives.
This isn't easy, but most things that require deliberate participation are hard. It is challenging to execute consistently, as anyone who has ever tried to learn a new, unknown skill can attest. Still, it is essential if we desire to create a life filled with human flourishing. It can be learned. You can learn this.
Divorce your happiness from the result, and focus on finding value in the attempt.
The Themes chosen each year is a way to make this learning easier and help define and embody the good life. It is a way to give us direction and purpose to help us grow as people without setting the specific task-oriented stake in the ground that a list of singular New Year's resolutions often does for many of us. It is not the only way, of course, but it has been one thing among many that has helped me better align with this goal.
Remember, what you do and how you interpret your Theme may change over the year, but that's perfectly fine. It is about direction and degrees of success, as defined by you. I, for one, intend to build.
Resources
Below are some, but not all, of the material that influenced my thinking as part of my year of design. The selection is based on what was memorable, and should not be considered comprehensive.